I just saw the pictures from the mini-reunion the class of '98 had a couple of nights ago. All my old friends are older versions of the girls they used to be. I miss them, though not each as individuals (save for a few), and the feeling I had when they were around. As I looked at the smiling faces, I wondered how I would have felt to be with them again. Just the thought made me feel a bit awkward. I was close to some, an acquaintance to the rest. I never had a set group of friends, more like close friends from different groups. I don't really know if I've changed much since high school or even if I've changed at all. Maybe this is the reason why some people don't even bother to go. Maybe all of us are finally comfortable in our little niches and do not wish to play victim to judgement. Maybe we don't know where we are in our lives and feel that we have nothing to show for ourselves. Either way, it's always a bit difficult to take one step back into the past. Six years is a long time.
If I didn't live across the ocean, I still would have gone. The older we get, the less we see of ourselves. I might have missed something that night, but I missed them, most of all.
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