Friday, April 22, 2005

Stress

So, last night, after the meeting with the city person (I applied for a grant to have the house painted), I conked out. It was fatigue, I guess, from the long week and being brought back to reality. I didn't even hear my cell phone when Francis called at 630pm.

Most of my afternoons are spent analyzing bills. I even check my account balance twice a day hoping that money will pop up out of the blue (a.k.a. extreme wishful thinking). I can't run and I can't hide. Adulthood has taken over. Shitty shit shit! I also feel like I'm in a slump. My job is great, but I want more. The company will pay for 100% of my education (whatever I choose) but I don't know what and where to study. Should I stick to my current field- Aerospace- or should I venture into marketing or broadcast communications? Should I continue looking for a new job or should I stay where I am and wait a little longer to see what oppotunities may arise?

I don't even think I have a dream or goal anymore. That's sad. I used to be so ambitious.

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