My resolution

I don't know where this thing came from. You know that funny, irky feeling, like you have a twitch in the head- the one that makes you look kind of CRAZY? Sometimes, when the days are still and all I hear are my thoughts, I want to knock myself unconscious. Sometimes, I wonder how good it would be to be dumb- you know, ignorance is bliss.

Lately, I've been paranoid (more than usual is more like it). I blame it on good memory. Good memory leads to remembering experiences. The remembering leads to what I think I learned from the past. In some sordid way, this all causes my paranoia that history will eventually repeat itself.

I have to stop this and be fair to myself and to those I care about. I should give myself more credit and less to the ones that hurt me in the past.

I will pray more-

-not to forget, but to forgive.

-to let go of my mistakes.

-to relax and give myself a break.
-to love those that I cherish.
-to show more kindness and less anger.
-to let those who cherish me love me.
-to be grateful that all I ever needed has been given to me.
-to accept that I am where I need to be at this perfect moment.

Maybe then will I stop hearing the voices in my head, the ghosts will rest and I can begin again.