The raise

Fuck! Today was good…erase that…today was great!!! I got a raise. Woohoo!!! But I also got gastritis…damn it. I have to go to work tomorrow. There’s no way for me to be absent. I hope I have enough strength to go to the gym…

There are moments when I am completely sane…and, as if in a trance, my brain starts to wander and wonder and wander. Shit! The inevitable cycle that is me. I am such a freak sometimes. I like it when it’s quiet, but when it gets too quiet, I hate it. I start thinking of something for me to worry about. Then, I start talking about it. After that, I analyze it. When my brain and my heart are finally tired, I forget what I was worrying about in the first place. I think that I’m built this way- just enough patience to endure boredom, but not enough faith to be at peace. Sometimes, I think that it worries me more when nothing is wrong, as if something bad is waiting to happen. I think that I think too much. You think? Me thinks. Crap! Hmmm…..plus, I don’t know…I just don’t. I wish I did, though.

Time for bed.