Today, I am calm. Calm as a cat on Prozac. I believe, for the most part, that I am an optimist. For the most part. Part of what, I don't know. It's just that I am.
On the downside, though, I am easily influenced by what my family says, the (sometimes stoopid) advice my friends give me, and the little person in red who sits on my left shoulder. In the end, I'm confused, bitter, and indecisive. So, there goes part of the most part of my being an optimist.
Mom says that, out of her four children, I am like water. I roll where the waves will take me, never against the current. This is also true, but again, only for the most part. I do, at times, tend to steer clear of the tsuanamis or chaotic storms, and more often than not, I resist going with the flow (until I realize that there is no better way than to ride with the waves).
My resolutions haven't materialized and there is no justification. I am still trying to say good-bye to Mr. Procrastination, which is hard, because, like I said, good-byes suck.
I have, however, continued reading the books I've set aside for so long. Two are love stories and one is Friendship with God. I also have to start The Poems of Robert Frost. This, to me, is progress. My routine, which went on quite well last year, was broken by changes that I whole-heartedly accomodated. One that I've tried keeping is the constant communication with CBF, because it's just the best part of my work day, and she's very good at making me laugh when I'm losing my mind. The newest addition has been the (almost) daily conversations with Pecker; he's also very good at making me laugh (even without intention).
Mom is still standoffish. I hope I will be able to wear her down, maybe take her shopping or drinking or something.
All in all, I am calm today. I only pray that it will last longer than it usually does. Sometimes, it takes a minute quirk of over-analysis to take me off course (right, LH? HMPH!).
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