Happy Birthday Mom!
Here's to my best friend and the greatest Mom in the world.
Your wisdom is my wisdom. That's why I'm so [such a] smart[ass].
My mom is great because
she tells me I'm pretty [when no one else will]
she tells me I'm fat [by taking away the extra slice of cake]
she tells me I'm smart [when I feel like a dumbshit]
May you have fifty more!
I love you!
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