Crap...it doesn't happen often...but, here I go again

Crap!

Here I go again. It's a little amusing when you're closest friends think they know what you're thinking, but, in reality, they really don't. It's also amusing when you realize that when you think what they're thinking is wrong, it's actually precise. It's as precise as it can get. And there is the dilemma.

I am quite the expert in self-denial. I am superwoman. I can pretend that certain feelings don't exist, and I can even obliterate them all together. This is moi (that's me in French, right Pecker?).

What troubles me is this state I put myself in. It's spontaneous, like bugs on the windshield, sticky and irritating. Sticky because it doesn't go away when you wipe it off. It still leaves some kind of residue. Ick. Irritating is self-explanatory.

And here I am, stuck inside my own chaotic head, waiting. I am waiting for a ring or some sunlight to blind me from my thoughts that form incoherent words to match suffocating feelings.

Ugh.

And this is the light of me.

And this is the dark of me.

Suffocating, no air to the brain, drowning, wallowing in stupidity, a heavy weight on my chest.

So, this is how it feels to fall (something to this extent, right Boobsie?).