Why I am unproductive on Saturdays

...because I am Queen Lazy on this day. I have the right to be lazy on this day. I have the power to be lazy on this day.

Ironically, I finished a good amount of chores on this day.

But, my purpose has not been defeated.

I do have lazy thoughts.

I've been feeling quite, how do you say, out of breath, lately, as if there is someone sitting on my chest. I have lost my sense of solitude. I want to be gone.

CBF's talk of Montreal in the summer sounds enticing. We finally spoke on Friday, which was weird and relieving at the same time. She rambled on about her life and her friends and how un-mundane it is. I really wish I were there. Really, really, really.

I can't say that I'm not blessed, because I thank the Lord everyday for everything and everyone I have, but, at this moment, I crave only to be with myself.

All my close friends are domesticated. All they want to do is stay home with their boy friends (gag) and watch TV like a married couple (gag). Not that I'm totally opposed to the comfort of domestication, it's just that I'm not there yet, nor do I want to be.

I really want to live in my own quaint studio/apartment. One bedroom will be enough with my own clean kitchen and comfy living room. There is an office area in a small corner where my laptop sits and two plants that don't need much watering. When I get home from saving the world, I will change into comfy clothes. I will go down the street, book in hand, to the local cafe and order chamomile tea. I will sit on the blue couch with its special dent, deep enough to accomodate my bottom. I'll read for an hour or two, depending on where the book takes me. Then, I will head to the local bar, where my friends are playing pool and we chat till I grow tired. CBF and I will laugh our butts off while we ogle the men across the room. We will dare each other to be bolder, but, instead, find ourselves giggling with naughty thoughts.

I wish I could do that tonight, but I know that it won't be possible for me to move for the next two years.

What do you do when you're stuck, and waiting, and have no place to go?