Tonight, we had another talk. About our future. How he sees it. How I see it. He worries, I wonder. That is the difference. I worry for ten minutes and then fall asleep. He worries about tomorrow. I worry more when he worries. Of course I do. I am the best worrier I know. Surprisingly, I haven't worried much in our relationship. To me, everything will work out in due time.
I'm not angered by his lack of faith in us. That's a normal response to a situation such as ours. Being 3000 miles apart is never easy and it's not as if things are going to get any easier. Every moment we spend together makes it harder to be apart.
It's the influence that bothers me. I mean, so far, the response that I've gotten from my friends has been uniquely positive. Most of them start off like this, "Finally! Woman, I thought you were really going to grow old by yourself." As if that were impossible. For the longest time, I wanted to be alone for the rest of my life. No complications. No one to deal with except for myself; but, then, he came along. Cheesy, I know, but it's the truth. Anyway, I always used to wonder why there were love songs where the guys would tell their girl friends not to listen to their friends. Now I know. I don't condemn opinions, but they just don't matter to me. I know I've been through enough to know the difference between an asshole, a future-asshole, and a good guy. Francis is a good guy. He pretty much proves it everyday. Imagine having to deal with my crap every night. And he stays up late for it too.
So, I figure, future-asshole or not, he's one to hold on to. The future is too far away for me to even worry about.
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