Before bedtime

I want to do the weirdest things before going to bed.

I just cleaned the toilet. I stood, hunched over the bowl, scrubbing away for five minutes careful not to splash toilet water on my legs. Right after brushing my teeth.

A few nights ago, at 930pm, I washed my do-not-throw-in-washing-machine blouses before flossing.

I also force myself to read at least two pages of the current book-on-the-finish-list even though my brain cannot comprehend the words and my eyes are squinting from fatigue.

I've always liked night time because it's quiet and people think that I am eventually going to fall asleep, so they do not bother to bore me with things that I can worry about the next morning.

Night time is when I get my things done; the time when I get my shit together. It is the last few hours when I am left alone.

Ironically, it is also the part of day I do not wish to experience asleep.