Wednesday, May 12, 2004

There are two states of being single

Being single and Apathetic means there are no possibilities.

Being single and Optimistic means everyone is a possibility. So how does one filter out everyone to narrow it down to a few?

1. Attraction- There must be some kind of relative attraction. By relative, I mean, cute to you, not to your friend, not to your mother, but to you. You should think he/she is attractive.

2. Intelligence- You must be on the same level/wavelength.

3. Humor- Relationships do not thrive on oochie koochies and sweet (puke-worthy) nothings alone. You gotta laugh, even if there's no reason to.

4. Orientation- Male/Female/Sways from one side to the other. Your choice.

5. Age- Ten years younger, five years older, sky's the limit. Sometimes, the older they are, the more immature they become; the younger they are, the more likely they are smartasses. It's all relative.

Ok, I am trying really hard to come up with a good list. I was thinking about this on my way to the bathroom (yes, wanting to pee can also be thought-provoking). Who am I kidding? I'd rather be Apathetic. It's easier this way. Being single only sucks when you're the fifth wheel (that's me) and you go out to dinner and everyone is spoonfeeding each other and making the sounds babies make when they have to take a crap.

Being single gets better when you're the fifth wheel (me, again) and all your coupled friends are damn-near-miserable because they should have stayed single in the first place.


*Smirks to self*

Apathy is bliss.

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